Akatsuki plus Kids equals Headache
by LiliacLilyFlower
Summary: What happens when you have a mixture of a rebellious teenager, a pair of hyperactive twins, a genius pre-teen and a baby to take care of? What if you add four unstable members of the Akatsuki into the mixture? The ending result: headache. This is one maths problem you never what to solve. Rated T because of Hidan. Read and Review!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the Akatsuki**

**Chapter 1-French essays, time-travelers and orange carrots**

Anna Wilson yawned as she began to feel her head fall forward, towards the table. No! She thought I have to stay awake, no snooze. She glanced to her right. The digital clock read 10:50. Okay. The was to finish this essay before midnight, then have a good night rest till the next morning; wake up at 5 and go to school. It was as easy as ABC.

She looked down at her opened textbook and tried to make sense of what her brain had interpreted as data-which apparently made no sense. Her mind racked as she tried to think of possible answers. She could do this. It was possible. Yes she will pass the boundary which prevented her from reaching her so called impossible goal; she would conquer all evil (in other words French essays were evil).

"What does_ l'évêque_ even mean anyway?" the nearly eighteen female said as she groaned in frustration; flipping the pages of her French dictionary looking for the said word that was impossible for her to find. Her attempts were futile as she as unable to find the word and out of frustration threw the book on the cold hard floor. How would knowing how to speak French help her in life anyway? For goodness' sake she was going to be a neurosurgeon! It's not like she'll need to be bilingual to perform brain surgery.

She picked up the book and placed it back on the desk. Getting angry would do her no good. There was no way she'll be able to finish studying and writing her essay on time so she might just close her eyes for a second.

"Anna!" a loud voice woke her up, "Baby Gray is crying and I can't get him to fall asleep!"

Anna's head jerked up at the sight of her 11 and a half year old brother in blue flannel pajamas, carrying a small baby in a blanket, eyes tired, "I tried," the boy said half-awake, "but Baby Gray wouldn't keep quiet. He's so annoying," The boy gave a yawn; "I'm so tired."

Anna gave her brother a small smile, "Thanks Michael but I can handle it from here, OK " Michael responded with a 'whatever' as she took the baby from the boy's arms and at the same time attempted to ruffle her younger brother's brown hair but he dodged the attempt by ducking and moving backwards.

"Don't touch my hair sis," he said sleepily and Anna shook her head slightly as she began coaxing Gray to go back to sleep, "I am going back to bed."

"Did Tasha and Sasha wake up?" Anna asked as Gray's yells lowered to small whimpers and baby sounds.

"I'll check. If they are asleep I'll go to my room and sleep. If they are awake I'll slam Christiana's door a few hundred times."

She wasn't certain if he was kidding or he meant it. After all, doing that would probably wake up the neighbours. But before she could respond, the timing was off and the boy went back to his room.

"Go to sleep Baby Gray, go to sleep, sleep," Anna murmured the mantra repeatedly and atlas, the house became silent. Anna looked up at the ceiling and began to think of her sister Christina. She hoped she was ok. Christiana told her she was off copying notes Louise's. Anna thought otherwise.

It wasn't an easy life for her after all. Most 17 year olds spent their time relaxing with friends, going to parties and chilling out without a worry in the world. But for Anna, she didn't have time for things like that. She had 5 younger kids to take care of. Ever since her father had died, her mother had given up hope and began smoking; leaving the house all the time usually for a month or so. Anna used to think she would come back but she was starting to suspect she ran off with some Asian boyfriend forgetting about the fact she left her kids behind or that she even had kids in the first place.

It was tough but Anna knew she had to be responsible by taking care of her siblings, lest the children services people came to take them away. She loved all of all them and would greatly hate it if they were all separated into strangers' homes.

The only other relative she knew very well was her mum's older sister, Aunt Isabel who lived in a nearby neighbourhood They could have moved in with her aunt except she was nearly 50, crazy lady (in Anna's opinion) and not exactly your average down to earth Aunt that gave you sweets and told you stories. She was far from the stereotypical Aunt. Isabel was a rich lady who inherited her husband's money (when he died) and used it to open up her own bar, spent nights gambling and was very irresponsible. Yeah, someone Anna would want her brothers and sisters to grow up with. Although the lady had her good qualities as she was very persuasive and kind, she always made sure to visit the kids once a month and made sure they weren't dying of starvation. Anna got along with her aunt in everything except when her aunt talked about adopting them.

Anna would most likely jump off a bridge than to move into her aunts' house living with her and her crazy friends.

Anna had a younger brother called Michael who was far the most agreeable sibling. With big brown eyes and dark brown hair Anna thought he was adorable. Well next to Baby Gray and the Twins.

His real name was Fredrick but every one called him Gray or Baby Gray. Everything about him was well… grey. His brown hair could not be said to be fully brown because of the shades of grey on the edges and grey blue eyes, and the same could be said for his moods. He wasn't black or white. He was just grey.

The twins where Sasha and Tasha and no one could tell who was who. Two 4 year olds ADHD twins with black hair and blue eyes they practically disagreed about everything. Sasha believed red food where the best while Tasha preferred green and turquoise food. Yes, ever since Tasha knew how to pronounce the said word she had been saying it ever since. They usually had different hobbies but they got along well… sometimes. They never really agreed except for one thing. Blue was the_ best _colour in the world.

Then Christina, her fourteen year old sister - She could remember a time when she and Christina always got along. That had changed ever since the day Christina entered high school a few months before. Suddenly her style turned darker, she dyed her short mousy brown hair red, became a Goth and had a pack of 'interesting friends'. Christina and Anna fought constantly and eventually, Christina's presence in the house became obsolete. She hardly came home unless it was to borrow money or get some of her stuff. Anna tried but with exams in a few months, and work and four other kids to take care of, well she had reached her limit. She really hoped that Christina was fine wherever she was.

If it weren't for science and blood types, Anna could have been said to be the adopted member of the family. She had blond hair opposed to the brunettes that her parents were. Instead of brown or blue, Anna had sea green eyes. When Anna was younger, she hated the fact that she didn't look anything like her family so much, that she almost got depressed. In attempts to reassure her, her mother brought out a yearbook and showed her a picture of her great grand Aunt who looked exactly like her except older and beautiful. Anna thought she was pretty and was really feeling good about herself, until her mother destroyed her renewed self-esteem, by telling her that great grand aunt had skin cancer so she cut her hair when she turned 18, and died not much later.

Anna eye lid began to drop slowly. Nooo, she thought, I have to finish this French essay for Madame Gazelle…

But her body had reached its limit, her eyes closed and her willpower finally gave in to sleep.

"_L'évêque_ means_ Bishop_….zzzz…"

* * *

Three figures wearing black cloaks with red cloud designs on them, followed by a fourth one that was wearing the same although wounded and bedraggled; apparently annoyed, (which could be proven because of the endless colourful language coming out of his mouth) were walking through a grassy area that was deserted except for the dark clouds overhead, signifying that they were near the Rain village. Their true destination and purpose was unknown except amongst themselves. They were criminals who didn't take nonsense from anyone (except from their leader), and never took pity on their victims. They were known to a selected few as the Akatsuki.

"Hidan would you shut UP!" said the second largest coat bearing man to the injured figure with a unique vocabulary. Half of his face was covered with a white hood and black mask so that only his eyes were visible. His eyes had an unusual colouring: green irises, and red sclera. And also, apparently, he had a bad temper.

"You, shut up Kakuzu!" the one addressed as, 'Hidan' shouted back but due to his current predicament it sounded like he was whining. "You nearly cut off my entire leg! It hurts like shit! I don't even WANT to be an Akatsuki anymore! I mean I have to perform my daily rituals! How can I do that when I am constantly out on 'money missions' all the time? What would Jashin-Sama say?" the purple eyed man complained.

"Hidan, you idiot! Once you've joined the Akatsuki leaving it is not an option. Besides, Deidara and Sasori didn't want the money making missions anyway. And stop whining like a child. And keep your useless opinions to yourself and to your fictional god," Kakuzu grunted. He'd better shut up or else I'll kill him, he thought angrily, despite the fact that Hidan was immortal and couldn't die.

"Shut UP!" Hidan yelled, "Don't insult the mighty power of Jashin, you heathen. You better convert or else you perish, all you unbelievers and money huggers!"

A young man amongst them was beginning to regret walking back to Amegakure with the 'zombie combo'. Next time, he told himself, never listen to Kisame.

"You are just as foolish as Deidara," he said to Hidan. Despite the fact he was the youngest, had a sense of authority to him and Hidan fell silent (but they all knew it wouldn't last). He had dark slickly hair tied to a small ponytail at the end and red eyes with three comas in each of them. His name was Itachi Uchiha.

"Yeah Itachi-san I agree, maybe even more foolish than Deidara," said the largest man out of the four of them. He had blue skin and gills and sharp teeth which was visible anytime he grinned – like right now. Despite his appearance, he was probably the friendliest out of the four. "I can even remember, when he actually challenged you thinking he would win. It was quite humorous seeing the look on his face when he lost to your genjutsu!"

"Hn," Itachi gave the infamous Uchiha reply but you could tell he was amused.

Hidan's frowned deepened and he yelled, "Don't you compare me with that loser you bunch of assholes!" then he then muttered a few choice words and glared at Kakuzu. Kakuzu glared back.

"Does he really have to be my partner forever?" Kakuzu asked himself knowing full well that there was no other candidate that could replace Hidan, "Itachi, Kisame want to switch partners?"

"He's all yours," the large man replied.

"Only the leader can allow that." Itachi replied calmly. Even though in his mind scape was the complete opposite of calm, NO, NO and NO! I WOULD NOT HAVE THAT INSANE IMMORTAL MY PARTNER!

"Where the hell are the both you leading us to, weasel and shark face?" Hidan said suddenly in a tone that made all the other characters pause to look around them. Itachi would have given him the deadly Uchiha glare but something Kisame said made him pause.

"This isn't the Rain Village," Kakuzu said agreeing with him for the first time ever, "in fact I've never seen this place in all my travels."

"I believe we are lost," Kisame said in agreement.

And yes, they were right for not one single grey cloud was in the sky. In fact you could say it was very sunny and the land around them was full of vegetation. They were standing on top of a vegetable garden which was very strange. It seemed as if it appeared from nowhere.

Itachi frowned, "I must have taken the wrong route. Or…" it's is a trap, Itachi thought cautiously, holding a kunai that was invisible, to even expert shinobi.

"You don't say weasel-kun?" Hidan retorted sarcastically.

Itachi chose to ignore him and stated, "Let's make a U-turn and-"

"What the hell!" Hidan yelled and all the others ignored him and began to follow Itachi back to step one, "why are we all walking away? Look we just all just came back from different grueling missions! Me and Kakuzu –"

"Kakuzu and I –"

Whatever Kisame! We both just came back from two bounty hunting missions and I'M pretty sure you and jerk face here are really tired too."

"So what's your point Hidan?" Kakuzu said with mild interest.

"you know Hidan, this was the first time that you said an entire set of sentences without swearing!" Kisame observed.

"Hey i don't fucking swear you fucker!" Hidan insisted.

"My point is that you son of a bastard, we are all exhausted and there's free food all around us!" Hidan demonstrated by waving his hands around the harvested crops, "with some water jutsu and earth these small things could just fill me up! I mean I can't perform my rituals on an empty stomach. Let's rest and eat!"

"who said you could perform your rituals, you idiot," Itachi glared, "leader-sama's oders are crystal clear – he is expecting us in 24 hours for the urgent meeting which is why we cannot use the rings – this meeting cannot wait. None of us can afford to waste time here listening to you."

"…" Kakuzu was actually considering the fact that Hidan had said something that made sense. Especially when he said it was free. Free… food.

"Actually that's not a bad idea. I'm hungry and besides I don't want to spend a lot of money on some Chinese restaurant." Kakuzu said thoughtfully.

"Kakuzu, I'd beg to differ that Chinese food are really cheap," Kisame said. "You always buy cheap Chinese Takeaway. Why don't you try buying better quality foods from other restaurants?"

"No, because the other ones are too EXPENSIVE!" replied Kakuzu, "Have you seen their prices? Do you have any idea how hard it is to be the treasurer of this organization? Not only do I have the Money making missions, I have to make sure there's money to pay for the bills, for the expenses to buy equipment, for damage done by Deidara and his exploding toys, Hidan playing with his scythe in the hideouts and there's hardly any more money left for more useful things!"

"Cheap bastard," Hidan muttered. At the start Kakuzu's rant, Hidan decided to rest and fill up his empty stomach; after all it was every immortal for himself and Itachi was being more of an ass than usual. Then a wonderfully shaped carrot caught his eye. It was so orange, so bright and beautiful as it was glowing, and giving off a tempting aura. Hidan realized he was drooling and hungrier than he realized so he took it and ate it. Then he saw another bright juicy carrot. It was hard to resist.

"Oh come on it can't be all that bad," Kisame continued, "at least you don't have to be stuck trying to capture the hardest jinchuriki and getting stuck with all the boring missions. The nine tail brat is so annoying and Itachi failed twice in capturing it!" Itachi winced at the comment 'failed'. Uchihas do not 'fail'. They simply, wait for when the time is right.

"But you don't have HIM as your partner!" Kakuzu countered.

"True dat," Kisame agreed.

"Kakuzu and Kisame stop your petty arguments," Itachi said in a monotone voice, "our leader would be expecting us for the update and it would be foolish to waste our time here. Hidan please don't eat any more food we would all gather it together as supplies for the long journey…" Itachi broke off at the sight of Hidan lying down at the center of vegetable garden finishing off all that was left of it.

All Itachi could think of, was that Hidan was screwed and that they'd better get out of here before the owner came- they probably have to kill the poor person. Itachi hated killing people.

"Hidan you fool!" Kakuzu yelled, "You ate all the free food!"

"what kind of digestive system do you have Hidan?" Kisame wondered to himself.

"Hey I was so hungry I couldn't help myself! It's your entire fault that you asses couldn't even make up your minds!" Hidan smirked, "Maybe next time you'll agree with me and stop beating up people that haven't eaten in a long time."

"The both of you quiet!" Itachi was tired of babysitting all of them. He was really beginning to consider returning to Konoha and turning himself in. Maybe Sasuke would try to use his chidori on him when he finds out, but hey, look at the bright side – Itachi could easily us his older brother kick ass signature move – the poke on the forehead no jutsu and all would be well. If that failed when there was still the good old talk-no-jutsu. STOP FANTASIZING! He told himself. To his companions he said, "We should all be going back before -"

But then, in a blink of an eye, an old lady with reddish gray hair wearing a gray cloak and piercing red eyes, appeared suddenly, beside Hidan with an inquisitive expression, "Now where do you think you are all going kiddies? You didn't even stay for desert!"

All of them were too stunned to reply. How did she get there so fast? We didn't even sense her presence! They all thought. Itachi felt sorry if she owned the vegetable garden because they had to get rid of her lest she cause causalities. Although the kind of chakra she was giving off was abnormal for a woman her age…

"Hello young man," the old lady said kindly to Hidan, "I hoped you enjoyed trespassing and your meal. It took me months to plant it but you ate it all! Now it's time for desert!" she gave an old woman's chuckle.

"Who the hell are you?" Hidan growled back. It was clear that he lacked respect for the said old lady.

"Well you can call me Granny Redhead!" she said with a smile.

"Well Granny Redhead," Itachi cut in for Hidan, "we would like to be going our way now but we want you to answer our question - how where you able to get in here so fast with four s-ranked ninjas unable to sense you?" Itachi inquired, "It seems like you have had some shinobi training. In fact I believe that you are no ordinary grandma."

"Oh," the lady laughed loudly and Hidan backed away with an irritated look, "I don't believe in ninjas. They are so rude these days, no respect for their elders, trespassing into other people's property, eating their food, refusing to stay for desert…" for each phrase her tone became angrier and then she glared and Hidan and smiled –a smile that didn't reach her red eyes, "young boy you ate my food and you'll not be forgiven until you repay the price for your rudeness," she said in a monotone.

"HELL, no!" Hidan yelled at her and walked away, "let's kill this crazy bitch!"

"Shut up Hidan. We don't have time to waste on this senile lady," Kakuzu grunted. But he too was conflicted by her chakra.

"If you leave you'll all be cursed forever!" the woman warned. But she stared at Hidan in particular.

"Yeah, right!" Hidan boasted, "I'll serve you as a sacrifice to Jashin-sama and we'll see who's cursed!"

"You know she's quite annoying, let's put her out of her misery," Kisame said thoughtfully.

MAKE UP YOUR MINDS! Itachi yelled in his head. He then looked at his comrades, "Ok you can do whatever you wish just make it quick and painless."

"With pleasure, Jashin-sama would especially enjoy this sacrifice! Although, can it be really slow and painful, I enjoy it when they scream in fear." Hidan smiled sadistically as he revealed his three-bladed scythe, "He doesn't take kindly to people that insult him and dare curse his followers!" Hidan then raised his scythe and reached for the kill but then he couldn't move, "what the –"

"I warned you. Now you and all your friends would never reach your destination and you young man," she then gave Hidan the eye, "I have sealed your fate."

Then Hidan's scythe melted in his hands. The other Akatsuki members tried to move but they realized that they too, were immobilized and it felt as if the shadow strangling jutsu was used on them- except this version was far more powerful and effective. They tried to struggle but no amount of chakra was able to break the jutsu, was it even a jutsu in the first place?

Itachi frowned. He could tell it was some sort of genjustu but what about this strange chakra mixed in with it? Was it a space time jutsu? But the woman didn't perform any handsigns! What was this! A lot of questions raced through Itachi's mind, but they were left unanswered.

"It is futile to fight against my Ninjutsu," she said then looked at Kakuzu, "I know about the crimes you committed agaisnt Konoha and your attempts to attain the first hokage's wood release ability and failing in the process…"

Kazaku stared at her trying to figure out how she knew after all how some random old woman gain access to that kind of information?

"You master of the accursed eyes - would never be able to break my genjutsu," she said to Itachi.

Itachi glared at her and said nothing. So it is a genjutsu and I can't break it Itachi thought. (Yeah duh that's what the old lady just said!)

Then the old lady turned to glare at Kisame, "I don't have anything against you except that you are one of them so you must suffer too. You swim together you sink together; aren't you familiar with that phrase?" Kisame grunted in anger as he tried to reach for his sword but even with his massive chakra he couldn't move an inch.

"I could kill you all now but I am in a merciful mood today. All of you are lucky. Instead, you all would be a test subject for my new space time jutsu. Your chances of ever returning…" she chuckled, "are of one in a million. As for you, rude man," she looked at Hidan, "I have sealed away your abilities when you ate my vegetation. Your god wouldn't be able to save you, and you'll no longer be immortal. You see, once you ate my carrots I put a seal on your immortal abilities." The others stared in astonishment. Was that even possible? "The faster it sinks in the better for you..."

The woman then smiled at Hidan, "Bic-t…h. W-hat are…you?" he managed to choke out the comment that was all in their minds.

She smiled "a time travelling demon." Then suddenly she transformed in a bright blinding flash of red light and smoke and in her place stood a young woman with the same hair colour but in a shinobi attire.

Before they could respond, a bright blue light consumed all four of them and they all disappeared along with the vegetable garden.

The area became deserted and cloudy again, except for two figures. The first one was the same woman with red hair brighter than before and her eyes had changed from piercing red to jade green eyes. She wore a black vest and lavender Carmi pants. Then a male appeared beside her wearing a green jacket and black and red pants with spiky blond hair and blue eyes. They were wearing black leaf headbands on their foreheads.

"Well done. it seems you were successful. And you've grown stronger." the man said to woman.

"Thank,s but I also had to make use of the extra power given to me and I barely managed to get rid of those menace. I used too much chakra. But in the end we succeeded, thanks to your gardening skills."

"Your're welcome dear. But it was also because of your great knowledge of space time jutsu. hmm...four members of the Akatsuki down, six left and Madara..." he made a clicking sound with his tongue.

"Now we can put the rest of our plan to action. divide and conquer. That's too bad, for him, Madara, that is. His capture-the-moon-plan would soon be tarnished. Don't you agree sweetie-kun?"

The second figure sighed wistfully, "Those where some delicious orange looking carrots…"

* * *

Anna woke up when she heard someone screaming. Her digital clock read 4:30.

The first thing she thought was 'damn my neck hurts and is that drool all over my notebook?'

Then the second thought that came to her head was 'its Christina's!' but she didn't just think it; she shouted it. "That's Christina!"

Anna got up in a flash of lightening, notes and books on her lap scattered all over and some fell on the floor but she didn't pay attention to them. As soon as she opened the door a hand grabbed her by the neck. She tried screaming or anything but a voice whispered to her hoarsely, "you'd better be silent or I'll fucking strangle your pretty little neck." Anna's eyes widened in fear and that was enough to make her stop squirming. Her pulse rate must have increased to 200 beats per minute. She didn't particularly like the idea of being headless.

She was then led her to the living room where Christina and Michael were both being held hostage, by their hands being tied to their back. A tall figure in a black cloak was standing behind them making sure they were still. They were all scared out of their wits and mouths dry. Anna then looked at the people that did this. She wished she hadn't.

They were all male wearing long cloaks. The one holding her hostage was shirtless and apparently smelt really bad. The one keeping two of her siblings occupied had a white hood and greyish face. Another man was extremely tall and blue skinned (Blue? She thought). He even had the gills. She wasn't even sure if he was human or probably she was hallucinating.

But the one that made her blood run cold was the dark haired one, who sitting on the sofa comfortably as if he owned the place, glaring daggers at her and at the one keeping her still. There was nothing a special about him: he didn't have gills, nor was he tall and neither was abnormal. He looked like a normal older teenager. But his eyes –his piercing red eyes could make your blood run cold and Anna felt as if he could see right through her- the feeling was unsettling.

"Young child," the said dark-haired one said in a monotone voice, "if you value your life and the life of those two, it would be better for you if you answer all of our questions… if not then…" he made a hand gesture to her two siblings being held hostage by a masked figure then raised a short metallic knife, pointing it, to her direction, "they'll die and so will you."

* * *

**Author's Note: Please read and Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the Akatsuki**

* * *

**Chapter 2-Open doors, Potty mouths and troublesome duos**

Christiana wished she stayed over at Lucia's. It's my entire fault! She thought. Why did I leave the door opened? She thought staring at the ground wishing she could sink in.

"Is there anyone else?" Itachi asked.

"No one else is here," Kisame said. As soon as he said it, a shrill but loud cry was escalating from upstairs.

"Kakuzu please go and attend to it."

The one standing behind Christina and Michael grunted, and then he left for upstairs. Christina hoped that he wouldn't strangle Baby Gray.

Itachi then glared at Anna who glared back. Ignoring the hostility he said, "Hidan you may let go of her now. I'm pretty sure she understood my statement earlier."

Hidan grunted but he let her neck go but not without giving her a slight shove. Anna nearly fell but she managed to catch herself and looked at Itachi. To Anna he said, "My comrades and I are quite lost. You see, we have been living in this world for about a day and we very confused as to where we are. We followed your sister to this house because she was the only one we saw to follow."

Christina looked perturbed that four criminals had followed her home.

Itachi continued, "Anyway we mean no harm to you unless you refuse cooperate and answer our questions then there'll be problems. Is that clear?"

Christina wanted to yell at him. Who did he think he was barging into their house like that and keeping them hostage? But he was addressing Anna not her so she kept quiet.

"Okay I understand," Anna said. "Ask your questions."

"Firstly, where are we?"

Christiana wanted to laugh. Was he serious?

Anna looked surprised but she answered, "California, Richards Bay near Santa Monica beach."

"Don't play games with me," Itachi raised his knife, "in a heartbeat I could kill all the ones you hold dear to you."

Anna hesitated and then said, "I am not joking. I am dead serious. We are in CALIFORNIA. Country, AMERICA. Planet EARTH." For every sentence she dragged her words slowly. Itachi gave her a glare. Did she think he was stupid?

"But this place doesn't even look like Earth country," the large blue man said, "and they don't even dress like Earth civilians."

Itachi turned to look at Kisame, "That's true too. It seems that the woman really took us to another world. And her chakra felt familiar…" Itachi dismissed the thought then he turned to Anna.

"I believe you. And you must believe me. My name is Itachi Uchiha, former ANBU member of the leaf village and a missing Nin; currently a member of the Akatsuki. Thanks to Hidan…"

Everyone then turned to the shirtless guy who had occupied the empty cushion. "Why the fuck are you all staring?" he said.

Itachi continued, "thanks to him we have all been sent to another world and he is apparently cursed. We have nowhere else to stay so we have decided amongst ourselves to take refuge of this place. That is not an option for refusal. You understand?"

Christiana wanted to kick him in the balls. They had their hands tied to their backs and these maniacs who have no idea where America was where trying to steal their home!

And it seemed Anna was thinking on the same thought pattern because she replied stammering, "eh - What?! But …but you can't j-just barge into my house…"

"How do you get this thing to shut up?"

Apparently, Kakuzu had returned and was holding Baby Gray who was being held by the stomach, crying non-stop The sight of it made Christina's stomach churn and Baby Gray's sad face made her angry. Why would you hold a baby like that?

Anna then yelled, "Give the baby to me!"

"Who told you can talk bitch –"

"Shut up!" she yelled at Hidan and stared a Kakuzu in the eye, "Give me the baby. I can make him stop."

Kakuzu grunted as he handed over the baby to Anna who quickly, but carefully took the baby from him and carried it in the proper position. In less than seconds Anna had reduced Baby Gray's yells and screams to coos and whimpers.

"I thought you said there was no one else," Kakuzu stared at Kisame.

"Why? One small little baby too much for you to handle?" Kisame jeered at him.

Kakuzu frowned, "At least I am a half blind man fish." He said sarcastically.

"I am a shark not a fish!" Kisame showed off his sharp teeth that made Christina's skin crawl. Despite the fact they were hard-core murderers and house-thieves they sure argued a lot over stupid things.

"Alright next question," Itachi said acting as if the small misfit between his two companions was a normal occurrence, "do you by chance, have ninjas, or missing Nins in this, Richards Bay?"

Christina wanted to die. She stared at Michael who kept looking at Kisame in awe. Michael caught her eye and whispered in an excited voice said, "They are ninjas? COOL! do you think they'll train me to be a ninja."

Christina wondered if he was the same child that was scared that he was going to die, just some minutes ago.

"No," Anna said voice not quivering or high but at a normal tone.

"Alright and last question, do you by chance know of any woman or witch with red hair-"

"And has a knack for using stupid fish quotes."

"And is a bitch that loves cursing people."

"She is nosy, annoying and obnoxious, like Hidan – but powerful, unlike Hidan." (Hidan then glared at you-know-who who just smirked).

"No." Anna said very slowly because she was very confused as to why some random criminals, who were planning to crash her home, were wondering if she knew an old grandma with magical powers and had a taste for fish jokes.

"That's all. And since you cooperated we'll spare your lives. Kakuzu you can release those two and Kisame go outside and take a look out. I'll study and get more information on our whereabouts. When you are done err…" he turned to Anna.

"Anna." she said.

"What a weird name!" Hidan observed aloud.

You think my name is weird? Anna thought angrily, what kind of name is Hidan or Kukuzu?

"Anna shall all give us a tour of the house." Itachi said ignoring Hidan as usual.

"HEY! What about me! I have to do something!" Hidan whined as he stood up.

Hidan sit."

"But –"

"You've caused us a lot of trouble recently. So your duty is to sit quietly and do nothing."

"Fuck that! I have a right as an Akatsuki member –"

"Hidan shut up," Kakuzu grunted at him, "If it weren't for your stupidity and ignorance we wouldn't even be here now. so you don't' have any right, as of now-so just sit and do as you're told."

Surprisingly, Hidan sat down quietly, without a word. Okay that was an exaggeration. Hidan yelled, "FUCK YOU KAKUZU!" and sat down sulking. But it was a miracle itself that he even sat down in the first place.

As Kakuzu released Christina and Michael from their ropes and Kisame went outside; Anna decided even though these men were going to be living with them, this house belonged to her and her siblings and they weren't in complete control. She took a deep breath (for she'll need all the confidence in the world) and then looked seriously at Itachi, "ok I'll allow you err, _people_ to stay over in my house but… there would be some ground rules."

"What?" Itachi asked even though he knew he wouldn't really follow then anyway.

"Well first of all, in this world weapons aren't allowed and also killing people randomly isn't allowed either," (Hidan wanted to say something, but was caught off by Itachi's glare. Also Just at that moment Kisame came back in and gave a signal to Itachi the place was secure) "you can't just threaten people or kill them or else you'll get arrested." Anna continued.

Itachi nodded, "Alright but where shall we keep them?"

"Um…" she hadn't expected him to be so…agreeable, "in the basement. There's a closet there and all of your weapons will be secure."

"Alright everyone," Kakuzu said dryly, "Bring out all your weapons and place them in this sack."

"Even Samehada?" Kisame asked fearfully.

"Yeah even that."

The three siblings were astonished by the amount of weapons the four men had on them. If the police were here they would all get arrested for even having that large amount weapons in the first place.

There must have been 50 short metallic knifes (kunai), 50 metallic weird shaped small spiral things that looked like four of those miniature knifes were connected together by a point; (in other words a shuriken) papers with Japanese writing on it (explosive notes) and a other things and not surprisingly, no guns.. Plus Kisame's huge sword was added to the pile but not before he whispered goodbye to his sword, ''Sammy, I'll miss you!'' Kakuzu then packed it all in a huge brown sack. (Why was Kakuzu carrying a huge brown sack in the first place?)

"Ugh," Anna said not quite recovered from the amount of weapons she had seen. "Second rule: don't threaten to kill people and no use of any of your special…abilities in here. It isn't normal and if you are seen you may become a science experiment and probably dissected. You wouldn't want that."

"Itachi, you know, something about that science experiment part, strangely reminds me of Orochimaru…don't you think so?" Kisame wondered. Itachi nodded in agreement.

"Don't worry about that," Itachi said to Anna, "We are shinobi and we will use our Justus when we have the need to."

"Ok also there would be more rules but those are, like, the basics. Yeah and also…" Anna turned to Hidan and shut him an angry look. It was clear that Christina's sister disliked him, probably more than the others, "no swearing when the kids are around."

"What the fuck!"

"Are you deaf or something?" she yelled back, "I have four younger kids living under this roof and it would be a whole lot better if you kept your nasty comments to yourself!"

"That's it Itachi!" Hidan yelled, "We're going to kill this bitch! She can make me follow some stupid rules, take away my weapons, but monitor my speech pattern! That's blasphemy!"

"Wow Hidan I am surprised you know what blasphemy is," Kisame joked.

"No, I am even more surprised he has enough brain cells to form the word 'monitor'. It seems that the time we've spent here, has increased his intelligence," Kakuzu said sarcastically.

Before Hidan could respond to the insults Itachi quickly said, "Enough Hidan, if what this girl said is true, then we are like babies, ignorant little children who know nothing about this world. It would be best if we followed her ground rules, with some limitations of course, instead of killing her and gallivant around the village, destroying everything without purpose, until we ourselves are eventually killed. So don't swear."

"Oh!" Anna quickly said, "and if you do, I'll uh…put soap in your mouth!" she declared.

Soap? Really? Christiana thought really wishing the earth would swallow her.

"Yeah right like you could try it!" Hidan said but then kept quiet for five seconds, "is there any food in this world 'cause I'm fuckin' starving!"

"Baka," Kakuzu muttered.

Christina really wanted to die

* * *

Anna thought she was cursed. Her Dad died, leaving her with a mum that dated men from different continents and eventually took the family's money and ran away, leaving a seventeen year old to take care of things AND now, she had four psychotic killers in her house, demanding for refugee, threatening to kill them and the Mr Potty Mouth of the group was now demanding for food. Her life was nothing but messed up.

The one keeping them all together and letting her and her siblings live (Hitachi was it?), told Hidan he should wait and they should decide sleeping arrangements. Itachi told her that the sleeping arrangement was partners in case of attacks from hostile people. Anna wanted to tell him that in this world, it was unlikely people would come and attack them randomly, but she decided it was a lot simpler this way than explaining the crime rate in America. Anna had dropped Baby Gray on his cot when he fell asleep so her hands would be free.

Itachi and Kisame took the laundry/guest room the only free room in the house, while Hidan and his partner Kakuzu took Christina's room. Christina herself would move in with Anna since Anna had a bigger room, she told Itachi. They all seemed satisfied with the arrangements (except Christiana of course but she didn't complain). Also as for bathrooms they had the guest bathroom downstairs and that wasn't a topic for discussion. Christina went upstairs to move her stuff to Anna's room while Anna led them all to the sunny kitchen table, so she could get them their food in the other side of the kitchen.

Meanwhile Michael seemed to have taken an interest in Kisame because he went up to him and asked, "Are you really are shark? And a ninja? What sort of cool powers and stuff do you guys have?"

Anna was alarmed and worried Kisame might harm him but Kisame instead gave him a casual grin (which was a fail due to his large teeth) and answered his questions. Later they began having a somewhat friendly conversation both by the window table. Itachi brought out a newspaper (don't ask me where he got it from) and sat on the main table, trying to gather information on the world despite the fact that he didn't understand a single thing that was written on it. Hidan sat demanding her to hurry up with it. Kakuzu grunted as usual.

Suddenly two blurs of red and green ran into the room. It was what Shikamaru would have called, if he were present, 'the Troublesome Two'. When the 'troublesome two' got inside, they were surprised at the high number of people in the kitchen.

The first one had her short black slickly hair, in pigtails wearing a green nightdress, stared at Kakuzu with big green eyes jumping jump and down, trying to figure out what to say.

"What?" Kakuzu grunted. Alright, he knew he was not one of the best looking guys out there, but hey, no need to stare!

"My name is Tasha! Your EYES!" she yelled, "They are green like Sister Anna. But they are also RED! You have REALLY PRETTY EYES!"

Kakuzu was dumbfounded. Hidan was shaking on his seat, laughing at Kakuzu, "Kakuzu eyes are PRETTY! OH MY shit!" Kisame chuckled and Michael snickered but covered his mouth with his hands. Even Itachi smiled a bit until the second one, who had her short black hair in a ponytail and wore a red and pink (but mostly pink) nightgown yelled at Itachi, "HI PRETTY LADY! My name is Sasha. I think I like your eyes better! You have beautiful red girl eyes!"

Itachi's almost smile turned to a glare. How dare she mistake him for a girl! If anything had changed, Hidan laughed louder, Kisame chuckles became more frequent and Michael was on the floor nearly wetting himself. Itachi brought the newspaper closer to his face creating an illusion that he didn't care less if the child confused his gender. In reality he was using the newspaper as a shield to hide his annoyed face and his embarrassment. Kisame would never let him live this down.

"Itachi I thought Deidara was the cross dresser amongst us, but it seems you have taken his place!" Kisame jeered at him.

It's this bad, Itachi thought depressed from behind his newspaper shield. The teasing has already begun and it hasn't even been 5 seconds.

"I see you've meet Tasha and Sasha. the both of them are really hyperactive." Anna had returned from the other side of the kitchen, wearing an apron and some gloves with dough on her clothes, with an astonished look on her face mostly because her two younger siblings didn't seem to be the slightest scared of the newcomers.

"That's an understatement." Kisame said.

She then turned to Michael surprised he was still here. "Michael! Don't you have any idea what time it is?"

"Ugh," Michael scratched his head awkwardly, "Go to school time?"

"No, Duh. And you only have about an hour and a half to do this: go upstairs, check up on Baby Gray. If he's awake feed him his breakfast. You know the red container. Also tell Christina to hurry up and get ready for school. So scat." She ordered.

"Aw…" the boy grumbled but he exited the kitchen with a "see ya," to no one in particular.

The atmosphere calmed down, as Hidan sat straight on his sear and Itachi lowered the newspaper.

"Tasha and Sasha, you hungry?" Anna asked the twins.

"What about me?" Hidan yelled but as usual he was ignored.

"Yes Sister Anna!" one of them replied, "I want Blue berry pancake!"

"Me too!" the other squealed so loud, Kakuzu almost felt like strangling her if it weren't for the rules of this world, "I WANT BLUEBERRY TOO!"

"Okay just sit on your chairs– I'll be back in a minute."

"I can't believe the bitch had the nerve to ignore me," Hidan grumbled to himself.

"'K sis!" they both said as they bounced to their down to her seat – right and left of Kisame's. Tasha saw him and her mouth gaped opened. Her sister wondered why she was so quiet but when she saw Kisame, she did the same.

"What?" Kisame wondered.

They both squealed, "BLUE!" at the same time and began holding unto his cloak, attempting to jump on him to satisfy their curiosity, or to really see if he was truly blue, while asking various questions. If it weren't for his ninja training, the twins would have tackled him to the ground. "Hey let me go brats!"

"Are you a fish? Are you a real giant?" one asked of the twins asked.

"No I am not some stupid fish!"

"No! He is a shark man, stupid!" the other yelled, "See he has shark teeth!"

Kisame turned to face the twin, "yes you're right uh…"

"My name is Tasha Mr. Shark man!"

"My name is Kisame!" Kisame growled, "Not some Shark Man. Learn it and GET OFF!"

"No, Kis-a-me please play with me!"

"No, his name is Kisame dummy! And his is my friend –NOT YOURS!"

"I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND AND STOP digging your nails INTO MY SKIN!" Kisame stood up and tried to get the toddlers to stop clinging to him, but they stuck to him like pesky little magnets.

"So your skin is really blue? COOL!"

Kakuzu chuckled at the look of Kisame's face, Itachi was still annoyed that the twins thought of him as a female and Hidan was practically wetting himself on the kitchen floor screaming, "OH MY JASHIN!" It was clear he thought that the Kisame incident was way funnier than Kakuzu's and Itachi's.

"BE QUIET!" Anna yelled. The kitchen then became so quiet that only an idiot would break it.

"Hey where's our food Bitch?" Hidan yelled at her breaking the silence then he realized she was holding a flat plate with a pile of golden brown flat thingies on top of each other – what kind of food was that?

"Sister Anna was does that word mean?" one of the twins holding Kisame's right leg asked innocently.

"He is truly a baka." Kakuzu said to himself.

Anna glared at Hidan so ferociously he almost felt afraid. "What the fuck did I do wrong?"

* * *

"GAAAH! F-"

While the rest of the Akatsuki ate their food on the table, Hidan ate soap by the sink. Anna had held him by the hair, and anytime he began to swear, she made sure he swallowed soapy water, which was the interval of 5 seconds. Of course the Akatsuki members laughed at Hidan's predicament while they enjoyed the pancakes. Hidan was clearly angry – at his fellow Akatsuki members and especially Anna.

"BI –"

_Splash!_

"WHAT WAS THAT AGAIN?!" Anna yelled very annoyed while Hidan just recovered from swallowing a mixture of ariel with water, "you broke one of the ground rules! And you'll eat soap till you APOLOGIZE!"

"I AIN'T APOLOGIZING TO YOU, BIT–"

_Splash!_

"What's Sister Anna doing to Mr Potty Mouth Kakuzu?"

Despite the fact that Kakuzu had a grumpy attitude one of the scariest faces ever, Tasha liked him so she learnt his name and in less than seconds she could pronounce it easily. Kakuzu didn't mind as long as the brat didn't cling on to his cloak as they did for Kisame.

"Punishing him."

"Why?"

"Because, he is a baka of the highest level, "Kakuzu said.

"What does _baka _mean?"

"Well…" even though the food looked strange, it was extremely delicious and Kakuzu had already eaten about 5 pancakes had 4 left and was still hungry. The twins were also eating their pancakes but they were paying more attention to the guests eating on the table mainly, Kisame.

"Baka means an idiot," Itachi stated. He had simply limited himself, to just one pancake with a dab of syrup and a bowl of strawberries and was currently sipping some herbal tea, which Anna showed him where the supplies were being kept in the house.

"Itachi is a smart girl!" Sasha said proudly, smiling at Itachi not noticing the annoyed look on his face but she did notice the snickers of the other two men on the table.

"He,y what did I say?" Sasha asked quizzically.

"Tasha…" Kakuzu began.

"My name is SASHA!"

"Whatever brat, don't yell in my ear. Itachi is a guy."

Her eyes widened in realization. "Itachi is a pretty boy then," she said feeling quite proud of herself, while Itachi nearly dropped the mug in hearing that comment. Kisame gave a fish grin at Itachi. "Well, it seems you have upgraded from a pretty lady to a pretty man. Maybe you'll start wearing pink dresses eh Sasha?"

"Yeah Kisame! Me and Tasha will dress him up in pretty blue dresses not pink! Pink for is girls – BLUE is for pretty boys!"

"Yes and we'll finish it off with a pretty blue hat," Kisame joked.

"Yeah and also turquoise bows for Itachi's hair!"

"No, red bows!"

"You are going to give Itachi new hairstyle right girls?"

"Yes!" they squealed and began chattering on how they would give Itachi a whole new makeover.

"Kisame."

"Yes Itachi-Chan?"

"Shut up."

"Whatever you say, Itachi-Chan."

* * *

"APOLOGISE!"

Hidan didn't ask for all of this. Ok well maybe it wasn't a wise idea to eat food from a crazy hag's garden, but it wasn't his idea to follow that emo chick all the way to this house.

_It was pitch dark. Four figures walked in the darkness with only the red clouds on their cloaks visible. They were walking and looking around, eyes and completely confused._

"_Where are we?" Hidan asked, "Where is that demon bitch? Damn, when I get my hands on her I'll make sacrifice of her, so good Jashin-sama would be proud."_

"_Hidan, you idiot; you can clearly see that no is even here," Kakuzu grumbled angrily staring high at the many stars in the sky, "and I don't even think we are anywhere familiar."_

"_We have been here for about three hours," Itachi said, "it seems that the lady sent us to a dangerous place. Especially, when we came across those large fast moving monsters; we should be careful were we step."_

"_You're right," Kisame said, "the constellations here are wrong, too. So many lights and I can't even tell if we're north or south." Kisame then said thoughtfully, "Probably someone will know where we are and we could find a way to get back home."_

"_Good idea Kisame," Itachi nodded. "First we need to gather information about this place but don't separate. Even though there are no hostile chakras in the area, it wouldn't be wise to split up."_

"_So we basically go and start killing people to get information, eh?" Hidan asked stupidly._

_The other Akatsuki member glared at him. Kakuzu asked, "Do you know what your problem is? You are a big fool."_

"_wha –"_

"_If you hadn't been stupid, in fact it if weren't for you, we wouldn't even be here," Itachi said, "you wouldn't have lost your immortality to some seal nor would we have failed our mission. Now Hidan listen carefully: you have a mission from me. From here on out I shall be the leader and you must obey everything I tell you or else I'll make you relieve the worst moments of your life. And now I am telling you to be silent. If you do anything wrong. Kakuzu wouldn't hesitate to have dead and no one would stop him."_

_Kakuzu cracked his knuckles, "I've been waiting for this." Hidan whimpered._

"_Kakuzu we can't have him dead yet, we need all the manpower we can afford. So Hidan do you understand the terms or do you need Kakuzu to elaborate?"_

"_Yeah sure, you are terms are fucking crystal clear," Hidan grumbled but he seemed agreeable._

"_What's that?" Kisame said and he jerked his head towards what had caught his attention. It seemed, just a few feet away bright flashes of light blue, red and green alternating along with the loud music escalating from a medium-height brick building – the source of the disturbance._

"_Let's check it out," But Kisame didn't really need to say it because the other Akatsuki members were already on the move._

* * *

Hidan tongue felt wet and so…soapy. Anna had gotten tired of sinking Hidan's head underwater and Hidan was also tired of eating soapy water. As he approached the kitchen table Kakuzu asked him, "So did you apologize?"

Hidan ignored him because as he stared at the plate that was formerly full was now empty. "Where is my f – food?" Hidan yelled.

"Right here," a tired voice said behind him, handing over a plate with five pancakes to him, "The condiments are in the fridge. Ask someone to help you if you are too stupid to find them. I am going upstairs to have a rest. Come on Tasha, Sasha - it's time to prepare you for school."

"OKAY!" they shouted but as they got up from their seats they seemed reluctant to be letting go of Kisame. Kisame thought otherwise, as he was quite relieved when they left him alone.

When Anna left with the Twins, Hidan took one of the chairs and began chomping down on his pancakes so fast, enjoying his meal despite, the fact he was muttering about different ways he could kill Anna with every bite.

Itachi then dropped the newspaper on the table, "I call an Akatsuki meeting."

"Finally."

"It's about time."

"*munch crunch*"

"What do you think of our current residence?"

"That Anna is a flat-chested Bitch that needs to be dead." Hidan grumbled as he finished off his last pancake.

"That we haven't accomplished what we came for," Kisame said.

Kakuzu nodded in agreement. "This Anna girl is just some civilian girl with issues that concerns none of us. She doesn't have the answer we are looking for and she has nothing to offer us. I don't think we'll be going home anytime soon."

"So we are just stuck here. What should we do in the meantime – I mean from what we've gleaned this world is chakra free, and I doubt anyone knows about us – or even the existence of ninjas."

"Yes Kisame, but we should be careful," Itachi said, "and learn all we can about this world. I have a theory that if we know more about the jutsu and this world we'll find our way back. Also Hidan try to find that seal she used to suppress your immortality. If we gain some knowledge about it, we could break the seal. We can't afford you as a liability Hidan."

"Whatever."

"As much as your theory is likely to be true Itachi, I am more worried about how that woman knew a lot about us." Kisame said.

" she called herself a 'time traveller' which explains her knowledge. she must have gathered information about us. But why would see target the Akatsuki? and how can we fight against a time traveller's jutsu?" Kakuzu glanced at Itachi with a pessimistic expression.

"Don't worry about it," Itachi said, "I am sure we'll find a way. After all, for every justu there is a weak spot. We just need to find the weakness in this jutsu."

* * *

**Please read and Review.**


	3. Chapter 25

**Note: this story takes place during Naruto's two and a half years of training with Jiyara (spelling?). This mini chapter is very important so enjoy it.**

**This mini-chapter is also dedicated to all my reviewers and the readers that didn't review. Thanks everyone!**

**Chapter 2.5 – meanwhile in the Naruto World…**

"It has been five days since Itachi Uchiha, Kisame Hoshigaki, Hidan and Kakuzu had disappeared. Has anyone seen either one of them recently?"

Pain looked at his five remaining members of the Akatsuki one at a time– Konan, Deidara, Sasori, Zetsu and now a new member, who had just been recently appointed as a permanent member, Tobi – as they all shook their heads, simultaneously.

Konan said from her seat beside Pain, "this is strange though. Five S-class Ninjas suddenly disappear from the face of the world. And none of us have found them?"

"What happened to those guys, un? And why haven't you found them yet Zetsu, yeah!"

"**Shut up brat.** Even with my amazing spying skills, **I can't seem to locate them**…it's impossible they ran away**I would have found them a long time ago**. I believe that**, they were obliterated**." Zetsu said and all of them became nervously silent.

"Well if that's the case I wonder who was so strong enough to kill them all at once," Sasori said speaking what was in all of the members' head.

"Anyway we should keep our eyes open, for any hostile attacks," Pain said. "Sasori, you and Diedara should take care of the money missions, now that Kakuzu is no longer available. Your mission details are in this scroll." Sasori took the scroll Pain handed over. "Zetsu, keep on your search for our mysterious obliterator."

Zetsu nodded.

"Konan and I shall take on the War and recruiting member missions. Tobi, stay behind so we can discuss your status as an Akatsuki member." Pain said but only three people knew what he truly meant by the statement. "The meeting is adjoined."

Deidara and Sasori left the Base with the scroll leaving the rest behind to discuss 'Tobi's placement'.

Zetsu smiled at Tobi. "What do you think of this new development **Madara**? I can tell you are**pissed** off. You haven't said a word."

Tobi turned to him his childish attitude gone. "this doesn't change anything. Yes, we have lost four valuable members especially, Kakuzu and Itachi, but they all can be easily replaced." He smiled underneath his mask.

"That's not what I mean, **and you know it**," Zetsu persisted, "you are worried about this foe that was **powerful enough to make five of our members disappear**, leaving nothing behind...no evidence. You are frustrated that someone took away **your only chance in getting Sasuke**…"

"Zetsu be quiet," Tobi said as he made a fist, "just go."

"**Yes** Madara-sama. Well by everyone, I don't think I am**needed here.**" then Zetsu went through the floor like a tangible ghost.

"So what are we supposed to do? And you?" Pain asked the masked man.

The man with the orange mask turned to them, "just complete your orders. Get us that missing nin from Kiri fast and failure is not tolerated. I have some_other_ things I need to do."

Konan and Pain nodded as they left. Tobi was all alone.

Tobi sat down quietly musing. In less than five days things had been changing fast. Not only did he lose four of his valuable members of the Akasuki, some days before that, an attack was aimed at one of Orochimaru's bases. According to what Zetsu had told him, Orochimaru had nearly been killed, he lost over a hundred of his minions and the base was completely destroyed. There was no doubt in Tobi that the same group of enemies that destroyed Orochimaru's base that dealt with his four missing members.

Whoever they were, they were powerful.

No! Tobi thought dismissing the thought. one can ruin my plan, no one. He thought dismissing those thoughts. "And I meant what I said, Zetsu. This changes nothing."

**Meanwhile, somewhere around the borders of the Fire Country…**

"Are you serious Kushina-chan? I mean you still haven't recovered from the justu you used five days ago."

"I am fine dear I can go now," Kushina said stubbornly as she tried to stand up but the blond man pushed her back.

"I am serious Kushina. Can't you see Karma too is also tired?" He pointed at the small fox that was sleeping on the ground, beside Kushina's bed.

"But I need to see my son!" Kushina nearly yelled, "We have to find him! There's not enough time for me to stay here and do nothing –"

"Yes there is -"

"But we have to - "

Minato looked at his wife sternly, "Kushina i promise you, we will find Naruto and kill the rest of the Akatsuki – but not now. Not while you're handicapped like this."

"But…"

"Besides Kushina, I am also tired, too" Minato said.

"You don't look it."

"Because I have to take care of you. Anyway, we are almost in Konoha," Minato said reassuringly, "I can't wait to see what kind of Ninja Naruto has become."

"Me too," Kushina agreed as she smiled up at her husband.

"I'll be right back. I have something to do..."

"Yeah sure but make sure you come back before I change my mind!" Kushina yelled happily to her husband as he left.

She sighed as Karma pounced on the bed.

After what had happened the past few weeks she had a right to be tired. She and Minato were revived by Orochimaru. They had also destroyed one of Orochimaru's hideout after that. That was when they discovered about the Akatsuki, and how they tried to kill their son. Nearly causing the death of Orochimaru they had fled.

On their way out of the Sound Village, Kushina came across a small injured fox. It had reminded her of her old friend Kurama, so she had healed her and they took her along with them. Soon after that they discovered the fox had large amounts of chakra, which was astonishing. Kushina was able to absorb some of this chakra to help defeat five members of the Akatsuki. She used a genjutsu, while Minato used a space time jutsu to send them to another world.

Currently, they were on their way to Konoha to see their son and get a medic nin for Kushina. The genjustu she had used to trick them, was so powerful, she had nearly fainted in the process. They had both taken shelter in a hotel, near the fire country so she could recover some strength.

Kushina was bored. She wondered how their son had grown up. was he adopted? She couldn't wait to see Mikoto Uchiha and Hitomi Hyuuga two of her best friends wondering how their life was. She smiled as Karma licked her palm and the faint smell of Ramen that was quickly approaching the room, but that was not the whole reason for her smile.

She couldn't wait to see her son.

**This is the first and last mini chapter that would be posted on its own. The rest would be posted at the end of each chapter. Mini chapters will not be regular. Chapter 3 may be posted today. Or tomorrow. Or this week or next week. It ALL depends on YOU…**

**So…**

**Just…**

…**review! (and send me a spelling of Jiraya's name, seriously)**


	4. Chapter 3

**Author's note: sorry about the near one month delay. Had some Writer's Block (damn if Writer's Block was a real person, I wonder how many lawsuits would be on his head) and something else called SCHOOL. YES...I don't leave for summer until July. How annoying is that? Oh well... here's chapter 3. Please excuse the spelling mistakes and grammatical errors.**

* * *

**Chapter 3-School, Magazines and an idle man's revenge**

"Hey, what's this school thing about anyway?"

Kakuzu was not much of a people person. In fact he was the most unsocial member aside from Itachi, but Itachi was a different story. It was by far easier to kill people than to communicate with them in his own opinion. In ways he was just like Hidan (although he'll never acknowledge it) they both had people who ignored them (well Hidan has more people), had bad experiences with their fellow comrades and they were both Zombies in their own way. They both took out their frustration on others (but Hidan was more insane about it). That was probably why they never got along. They were so different, yet alike in many ways.

Kakuzu stood by the kitchen door watching Kisame have a conversation with the brown haired kid wearing a pair of round, rimless glasses (that looked oddly familiar with the pairs, Orochimaru's lackey, Kabuto or something wore) and a striped blue and white shirt with trousers they called, 'jeans'. Itachi had told all of them that they should try and get as much information as they can. Itachi then left to use the bathroom, Hidan went to sulk (as expected), and Kisame seemed to have found his own way of getting info, 'through conversation with kids.' If someone told Kakuzu a week ago that Kisame would be doing this, he would have probably laughed at the person and insulted the persons' life but, if time-travelling is possible then anything is possible. Besides, Kakuzu also wanted to understand this 'school' thing himself.

From what the child had described it was just like a ninja academy – except that you had eleven years of school, they didn't teach you survival or how to throw a knife and basically the only physical activity they did was a thing called 'recess' and play sports. To him, the school seemed like a waste of time. Would you rather spend years of your life learning types of sentences and then end up as an English teacher, or to live your life as a missing ninja on the run? For Kakuzu it was no contest.

"Michael, are you done with your breakfast? We have about 30 minutes left."

Kakuzu turned and he thought for a second that he was seeing things. Not until Michael said to the girl 'almost done, Anna' then he realized it was her. She looked nice wearing a blue and green shirt and jeans with her hair down and brushed. No. Kakuzu wasn't a pervert or anything it was just that she looked a whole lot better, than an hour ago where she looked like a girl, with hair all over the place, and bags underneath her eyes, smelling like Hidan when he just finished a ritual; basically, looking like she had just come back from a war against a pack of bad tempered wolves and apparently was on the losing side. (Yeah, it was that bad).

Hidan had just got back from sulking from a corner, and was about to say something stupid but stopped and stared at Anna, "Hey Flat-chested you actually look halfway decent!" he said sarcastically.

Anna barely looked at him as she gave a nod to both Kisame and Kakuzu as she entered the kitchen, making food for herself, "says the person who smells like a dog covered in dry blood." She replied dryly.

"Hey! I don't stink that bad do I?" Hidan sniffed himself and nearly gagged. Then he yelled, "damn that Itachi! Who the fuck does he think he is taking all the time he wants in the bathroom anyway? Fucking Prince Charming?"

In less than 3 seconds Anna was in front of him holding a bar of soap.

"What do you want bi – GAH! GERRIORRFFMYRRMOURRTH!" he yelled.

"I decided that detergent WASN'T effective enough!" she told him making sure that the soup was in his mouth, "so I decided to upgrade to soap bars!"

"LETRMERRGORR!" Hidan then used his free hand whilst the other one was occupied, holding her wrist to remove the source of the nasty taste in his mouth; to punch her hard in the stomach. He was partially successful as she surprisingly, managed to dodge it and move backwards, "ouch that hurts!" she yelled at him, her left hand holding her stomach and her right hand wrist was bright red, swollen and hurting

"WHAT did you do to my sister?" Michael cried.

"That'll teach you never to put soap in my mouth, Bitch." Hidan said ignoring Michael trying to get rid of the taste of soap in his tongue. Anna looked at her bleeding wrist then glared at Hidan, "you-you hurt me!" she yelled at him. Michael ran to his sister to help but she mouthed him to go away.

"So what? I can do whatever I fucking want and Itachi ain't here to stop me, bitch!"

"Don't be so sure Hidan."

They both stopped talking and turned to the direction of the voice. It was Itachi. He in front of his room door wearing the clothes he usually wore under his Akatsuki robes; a standard Leaf Shinibi uniform. His hair was wet which meant he just finished showering and his emotionless red eyes stared at Hidan.

"Hidan you broke two of the rules. What did Anna tell you about trying to attack people and swearing around the children?" Itachi said referring to Michael who had just seen the fight.

"It was her fault! she insulted me first!" Hidan blamed.

"No you started it!" Anna accused.

Itachi closed his eyes, "it doesn't matter who starts the argument but the ending result. Hidan what you did was very foolish and made me look like a leader, whose followers don't know how to follow instructions."

Hidan glared at him and muttered some swear words under his breath.

"Now Hidan you will not swear or show act of violence as long as you are under this roof."

"But that's not fair!"

"I know it's not. But you have no choice. And Anna – I'd advise you'll do something about that would wouldn't you?"

"Yeah sure we have a first Aid Kit." Anna said holding her right wrist like a broken porcelain doll, as she began walking away, but not before giving Hidan a death glare, which he returned.

Itachi sighed, "Hidan the bath is free…"

"Yes! Finally Itachi I swear, I thought you'll slept in there!"

As Hidan exited Itachi closed his eyes. Oh why didn't he just return to Konoha when he had a chance?

"I need coffee and therapy. Lots of therapy."

* * *

Christina sighed as she looked at the options? Black miniskirt and tights or Black jeans with embodied edges?

She groaned in frustration as she fell on the bed. That didn't really matter now. The problem wasn't that four criminals were living in her home. The real problem was Anna.

She knew the real reason why Anna had suggested that they should stay in the same room. It wasn't just to appease the Akatsuki. It was apparently for Christina's own good – so she could spy on her.

Christina remembered the argument they had about five minutes ago. It started like this:

"_Christina," her sister began._

"_Huh?" she replied paying mild attention just lying down on the bed, in her pajamas, listening to songs on her mp3._

"_When you get to school today, don't tell anybody about this okay? We don't want them, the Akatsuki, to kill or us or the children services to know. It would just make things more…complicated."_

"_Yeah, sure. Whatever."_

"_I mean it Christina – especially your friends. You know what would happen."_

_Christina frowned, as she removed her earphones, "what about my friends?"_

"_It's just that…they aren't the right kind of people to associate with –"_

"_That's why you are such a pain! They are my friends – not yours OK? So don't say what you don't know."_

"_Oh, really? I don't know about your friends. Yes your right – I know nothing about 'Friends' like that because my friends don't have parties at 3 in the morning that I go to, and I get tired, and as I leave, I led four men into my home, and they 'Home-jack' me. You're right I know nothing about friends like that."_

"_My Friends have NOTHING to do with the situation you led us to!"_

"_The situation that YOU CAUSED!"_

"_You are not my mother so just mind your own business and leave me alone!" Christina yelled at her and she put on her headphones to shun her sister.  
_

Christina put on her backpack. It was nearly time for school but she liked going early especially on rainy days like this. It felt like the rain washed away her problems, well as long she was under an umbrella and didn't catch pneumonia, she liked it.

Quickly stashing some money into her purse, she exited the house and left silently without a word.

* * *

Hidan was bored as…as well, something that was really bored.

It hadn't even been an hour since Anna and the kids (including Baby Gray), left them alone house with instructions (don't touch this or don't spoil that. Your lunch is here blah, blah) that Hidan was wishing for her back so he could insult her.

Hidan could not perform his rituals (fortunate for many people, unfortunate for him) because if he tried to stab himself in the chest he'll die. He knew that Jashin-sama was angry with him even though in this world he couldn't hear him. The old hag was right – just as chakra didn't exist; so did his Jashin-sama.

When the kids left the house, Itachi then took the liberty of reading the newspapers and magazines on the desk in the study, despite the fact he was half-blind and didn't even understand English. Kisame had fallen asleep. Kakuzu had brought out a bag of money from his cloak (why does he even have a bag of money in his cloak in the first place?) and occupied himself by counting the notes.

As for Hidan, he had nothing to keep him occupied. He would have slept but he was too tired to sleep (don't understand how that makes sense but it does to Hidan); he didn't particularly enjoyed reading nor did he have any interest in money – and he didn't even have his scythe – oh if he did, imagine all he could do with it! But as of now, Hidan was idle man. And as an idle man or mind is the devil's workshop, Hidan was really thinking of some evil thoughts as he headed into the study where Itachi resided.

"Hey Itachi you jerk face!"

Itachi sighed from underneath the _Vogue_ Magazine. What did he do to deserve this? Oh yeah, he killed his entire family and left his little brother alone to suffer in fear and live the life of an avenger, but no one deserved this kind of punishment!

"What do you want Hidan?"

"You are a really smart jerk-face, right? I have a question to ask."

Itachi stopped flipping the pages.

"What's the fucking matter?"

Itachi stayed still.

"Hey jerk face over here!" Hidan yelled snapping his fingers over Itachi's face and finally, Itachi blinked and nodded. "What's wrong with you jerk face? I knew you are half blind but I didn't know you were half deaf too."

"That was the nicest thing I've ever heard you say!"

"fu – what?"

"You actually gave me a compliment. You never even complimented your imaginary god and you actually complimented me!"

Hidan was becoming worried. What did he say now?

"Oh my, dear Kami! I need help! Hidan actually said something good about someone! The world is ending!" Itachi looked likehe_ really_ needed help to Hidan.

"Jerk face, stop acting stupid and just answer my question! I just need to know the fucking rules that Bitch gave us before she left!"

"Oh yes. It's just that," Itachi then calmed down, "She gave us several actually many that were practically the same."

"Then give me the basics Jerk!"

"There are basically five rules – but why do you want to know them?"

"Stop asking me stupid fucking questions! It's my own business, un!" then Hidan realized what he said, "Damn I spoke Deidara!"

"The first rule is: do not go outside, the second one is, don't hurt her or the kids or anybody unless the person has hostile intentions. The third one is no destroying furniture and don't go into her room, the fourth one is don't alert anyone of your existence and the fifth one is don't touch the laundry. Basically, don't do anything." Itachi looked at him in the eye, "A thank you would be sufficient."

"Whatever Jerk face," Hidan left with an evil smile on his face that he had accomplished what he came for.

I wonder what he's up to; Itachi thought then shrugged his shoulders. To be honest, he really didn't care. All he really wanted to know if that Guy Hodge had broken up with Laic Slimy, who was John Brakes long lost cousin, and how her how grandfather stole the ruby bracelet that belonged to his ex-girlfriend who was John Brakes mother's friend. How he had come up with those ideas from looking at pictures, we'll never know.

Hidan smiled. He was quite proud with himself. That'll teach that Anna bitch never to ever embarrass me like that again! He thought. He felt so evil he enjoyed it. In fact he felt so evil he even got the evil laugh down: sadistic, uncontrollable and deep – but more sadistic than anything, because it's Hidan we are talking about here.

So how do you operate this stuff? He wondered as he gazed at the strange contraption.

When Hidan asked Itachi for advice, he remembered one of the rules: don't touch the laundry – in fact don't even go near the washing machine! She was really smart to put Itachi and Kisame in the same room where the washing machine and laundry was in – But Hidan was smarter. He then began studying the buttons on how to operate it. The manual was useless, since it was written in some gibberish language he didn't understand. So Hidan decided try out a whole new method of learning: trial-and-improvement method.

From what he had gleaned, it was a type of machine that helped to wash clothes. Hidan had seen washing machines before, but not one like this. The ones in the ninja world had three buttons: Start, Wash, and Stop. But this washing machine had several buttons, so hard to operate. But he could do it. His goal: wash his Akatsuki cloak in the washing machine. An outsider would probably think it was not much of a revenge plan, but Hidan knew it would make Anna mad and furious – a perfect revenge. He was currently wearing what he wore underneath his cloak (which was just a pair of pants) and trying to decipher the instructions and dials. But Hidan grew frustrated fast. Out of anger he turned all the dials randomly to the left and right, pouring a whole packet of detergent into the machine and stuffed all the clothes in the basket and along with his Akatsuki uniform. He kept on playing with the dials until the machine gave off a tell-tale _vroom. _It took a long time but he was successful.

"I'll have to say I did a fuckin' great job!" Hidan said proudly as the clothes began to slowly turn. "That'll show that Anna bitch!"

"Hey! Did you guys destroy the house?" someone from outside shouted, voice sounding fearful.

Oh damn she's back! Hidan thought as he quickly left the room, forgetting that he left the washing machine on, clothes moving in a circular pattern and bubbles bubbling…

Anna was surprised. The house was still in one piece! She walked passed Kakuzu who was counting money on the counter, Kisame who slept on one of the couches in the living room and Itachi who was reading _The Times_ in the study, not even noticing her presence

"Hello everyone!" she yelled happily smiling, "I'm home!"

"Stop shouting woman,"Kakuzu said not looking up from counting his money.

"Damn, the leader sounds more feminine than usual," someone said sleepily.

"…." Itachi continued to look at pictures from the _Christianity Today_ magazine.

"I am quite surprised you all stayed in your positions that I left you in like about 5 hours ago. Didn't you eat or anything?"

"Yes."

"So you had some leftovers remaining?"

"No."

Anna nodded as she went to the kitchen to check out the closet where she kept their food. It was completely empty.

Do these guys have like, seven stomachs each or what? She thought quizzically. She had left more than enough food for lunch!

She shrugged her shoulders. Oh well. Besides, grocery shopping was tomorrow so she could deal. She felt so peaceful and happy inside. Despite the horrible morning, she still got an A in her French essay and actually understood everything in her physics class! She totally destroyed the math pop quiz and dumped her ridiculous boyfriend Tom. She should really thank Hidan for helping her. If it weren't for him annoying her and ruining her day, she wouldn't have gotten mad enough and dumped Tom. She felt accomplished. Wait… where was Hidan?

Thoughts of houses burning down, people screaming in terror, and other similar things went through her head but she made them vanish as soon as it came to her head. Hidan wasn't that violent, was he?

"Itachi," she said as she entered the study, "do you know where – are you reading _O, The Oprah Magazine_?" she asked surprised.

"Hn," Itachi mused, "this woman looks like she's from Kumo."

"What?" Anna was speechless. She didn't know what 'Kumo' was, but she was 100% sure that Oprah Winfrey wasn't a Kumo-whatever, "Yeah…so Itachi have you seen Hidan anywhere?"

"Last time I saw him, I was reading about a man who wears nothing but his underwear and lives in a forest and he fights bears that have faces like humans. As for Hidan – I think he was heading towards the laundry room."

"What? Where did you read that?"

"I didn't read it," he was looking at her now, "I was basically looking at the pictures to get informa…err to entertain myself. Besides I can't read your language."

"Oh." It did make sense after all he was Japanese.

"And here's where I read it from," Itachi pulled out a magazine from underneath the pile. It was an old and tattered children magazine, and on the front cover was a picture of Tarzan, the Disney movie.

"Wait you interpreted all that just by looking at the pictures?"

"Yes. Do you want me to interpret the others…?"

"Never mind Itachi," she said quickly, "you've been a great help so I'll just go look for him!" she left the room. After all, it was far safer than knowing how Itachi's mind worked.

"Hn," Itachi shrugged not really caring. He could not decide which was stranger – the girl that owned the house or the kind of reading material that was available in this world.

* * *

Anna was begining to get worried as she left the study and walked up the stairs. Then suddenly she heard Hidan's voice and saw him closing the laundry door, "thank God you are here and not terrorizing people!" she said without thinking.

"What's that supposed to mean queen bitch?" Hidan said rudely, "Got your panties in a twist?"

She wanted to reply but decided to save her breath. After all she'll need it when picking up Baby Gray from the Day Care in forty-five minutes, the twins from pre-k in an hour, and Michael from Elementary in two hours. She didn't need to waste a breath on Hidan. Slowly she closed her eyes and then she heard a strange noise – coming from the laundry room, downstairs.

"What's that?"

"What's what?"

Anna looked at him suspiciously. That reply was so out of character for him. Unless…

"I heard a noise downstairs…"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure your brain's fucked up. I can't hear a damn noise from anywhere," Hidan stated but his tone seemed worried to Anna.

Anna was good at reading people's emotions. After all, if you want to be a doctor you have to be. And it was pretty obvious to Anna that Hidan was hiding something.

"If you say so –"

"GAH!" someone screamed, "what's with this soapy water EVERYWHERE!" then someone slipped and a loud crash escalated from downstairs, to all the corners of the house.

"I thought you said it was nothing."

Hidan groaned. "Fuck."

* * *

Kisame didn't understand how all of this happened and he slept through it.

"Did I miss all the fun?" he asked Itachi who was reading a magazine.

"Yes you did."

"Aw," Kisame was disappointed, "so what happened then?"

Itachi then gave him the short version, "long story short – Kakuzu tripped over cold water causing a sprained ankle, Hidan destroyed the clothes he tried to wash and almost completely, damaged the washing machine in the process, Hidan also began a flood in the laundry room and it extended all the way to the hallway. Kakuzu beat him up so badly he could hardly move and then Anna also contributed to beating him, and then Hidan left to go and sulk and wallow in pain, after Anna and Kakuzu basically insulted his life. Kakuzu has minor injuries but a serious one on his left ankle; which he sprained, while Hidan has several minor injuries every single part of his body and can hardly move. Anna had no choice but to take both of them to the hospital for treatment. The house smells like it had a bath and we both have to sleep in the basement, since no one can sleep in the laundry room – except maybe you. That's basically it."

"So that's the short version?"

"Yes."

"And I slept through all this?"

"Yes, you did."

That was the first day, that Kisame Hoshigaki regretted being a deep sleeper.

"Why do I always miss out on all the fun?"

* * *

**Please read and review...who knows...maybe if I get let's say...10 _MORE_ reviews I might update faster.**


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